Am I good enough?
I normally try to have some word of wisdom when I write a
blog post, something that God has enlightened me with and filled my heart to
share with others. Today that is not the case. Today I would like to share a
personal struggle.
I am a person that has a reckless past, I am a guy who made
every mistake short of murder and that only by God’s grace is left off the rap
sheet of my past. I am a man that still struggles with all kinds of issues and
way to often those issues are foremost in my mind. I know what God wants of me,
but I hold off on pressing towards that goal based on the nagging little voice
that says, “You are better than you were, but you’re not good enough yet”! Have
you ever heard that voice, the one that says there is another person is better
suited to do what God has laid on your heart? The voice that says if you start
it you will be a stumbling block. The voice that is arrogant enough to question
God?
Is that the voice of fear, the voice of the devil, or in my
case the voice of the church? See church members don’t want imperfect leaders
in any position. I think it is not out of any reason other than to protect the
church and even in thoughts that they need to protect Jesus and the Gospel from
us imperfect people.
My
conclusion, we are all imperfect and screwed up, I think the same Peter that
denied Christ is the same Peter that preached on Pentecost. The same screwed up
Peter; the same confused Peter, the same fearful Peter. I think he just decided
he would rather be used by God then left behind. He wanted to perform the role
God had for him and trust that God was enough. Why should I think Jesus can
cover my sins and make me righteous but not cover me in the grace needed to
share him with others? In my imperfections I will continue, so that God gets
the glory. I cannot fix me, but He can use me.
