This morning I am sipping grits from a Styrofoam cup (make
them runny and you don’t need a spoon) on break in the factory where I work. This
morning is a struggle as I am torn between being thankful and needing change. I
am at work this morning but I feel I should be with my wife and child preparing
to head to church. I understand that in this day and time jobs are blessings. I
have been on mine for 13 years and have seen plenty of blessing and promotions.
I am grateful for what I have, please do not misunderstand. Over the years
things change and requirements and expectations change. More time is required
to meet expectations. I am concerned about the things that are lost or given up
to allow for this additional commitment of time. Things like time with family, involvement
in church, school (seminary). My wife can attest to the fact whether it’s
trying to get the grass cut in the evenings or just trying to relax on the
couch there is the phone calls and the emails that never get caught up. Everyone
who strives to do their best will eventually let what they do consume them to
some point, and some areas of employment are more demanding of time.
One of my favorite preachers is Damon Thompson, he teaches
about how Egypt was salvation for Israel when Israel an infant nation, but they
stayed to long, what was salvation became bondage. What may be a current
blessing or was a blessing can hold a person back from what they are presently
intended to be or do.
I also think back to
what Jesus said to rich young ruler in Mark 10:21,
Jesus
looked him hard in the eye—and loved him! He said, “There’s one thing left: Go
sell whatever you own and give it to the poor. All your wealth will then be
heavenly wealth. And come follow me.”
I am afraid that I am failing to follow him. I am at the
point where it seems to be able to change the pattern of where I am, I would
need to sale everything and leave to start over. How does one balance that with
the need to care for a family?
I feel that I am allowing the wrong thing to consume me and
I do not know how to right the ship.
I write this not to seek sympathy or answers but so that
others who may feel this way know that they are not alone. The struggle is real……………….
